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" How sweet," she giggled."Anyhow, Mom was making breakfast this morning, and Nat volunteered to go get the mail. She saw your letter-she knows all about you-and talked me into reading it. Then talked me into coming here." I'm glad you did." So am I," I admitted."Natalie sounds like something else. She knows everything?" I nodded. "And she still pushed for you to come here?" I nodded again. "She must really trust you." She does," I agreed.Annie sighed. "I still have all the letters you sent back. The first six months or so-well, I'm now glad you never read them. They were a combination of pitiful wailing that you had abandoned me and me throwing my sexual exploits in your face." She took a deep breath. "It is easier for me to see, from two years' distance, just how completely fucked up I was back then." Understandable, you know," I said."Maybe. But I've had a hard time forgiving myself for how badly I hurt you. The only person, at that time, who'd ever truly cared about me, and I hurt. Then it became weeks, months. Now, when it happens, it’s always a surprise, never after a nice dinner, drinks, a night out, flirting, or sexy foreplay. It’s now always in the morning. I wake up; Jurgen is on top of me. I moisten my bone-dry pussy with spit. He fucks me quickly, rushes under the shower, then hurries off to work.”Helen laughed, somewhat bitterly, “I started to think of our sex as ‘Jurgen’s hands-off, little morning fuck.” Usually, when he commits this sin, he returns at night with flowers or little, expensive gifts. At first, I thought it sweet. Now I am just sad, uneasy. For him, fucking me is something dirty; it requires a gift as an apology. It’s not his fault. But I feel now defiled; not by his stealthy little fuck in the morning but by his feeling guilty, by his conviction that sex is dirty and that I am unclean, soiled by sex and soiling him.”Helen told me the above only late in the year, with our parting drawing day by day closer. I was sorry that our so.
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